Thursday, 22 September 2011

Setting it up to knock it down

Every so often I go through a phase where I get bored with my lot and decide to change it up. The problem I have when I do this is that I try to do it all at the same time. I decide, right - I need to exercise more, I need to eat better, I need to drink more water, I need to take better care of my skin, I'm going to groom myself better, I'm going to care more about the environment, I'm going to make a start with my future career plans.
is this REALLY the right outfit for this task?
I end up overwhelming myself with the sheer amount of things I need to do, making me feel like every aspect of my life presently is wrong. I start up doing it all, on top of all the little things we need to do in order to survive; working, shopping, cooking, cleaning etc which, lets face it takes up most of the day in itself. I come up with these great schemes when I have a day off and I have the time, forgetting that I won't be able to do a two hour run and make my own bread every day.
just a little something I knocked up before pilates
I put so much pressure on doing everything at once, I end up with too much on my plate and give up. I was talking to an aquaintance about this a few weeks ago and they told me this 'clumping' tasks together is typical of an introvert (such as myself). Whereas a more confident person would say, 'I'm going to start making some changes' and that would be that, I come up with a long list of separate changes I need to make.

'I have a halloween party, ok?'
Once I fail to become a superhero overnight (which is what my brain thinks I should be) I feel like I've let myself down and I may as well not even bother, so there I crawl, back to where I was in the first place. What I need to figure out is how to stop my regular pattern of thinking and start behaving like a 'regular person'. Any ideas anyone? (she shouts into the abyss).

Here's the crazy part; all those things I feel I should be doing - I enjoy doing them. Exercising, baking, sewing, knitting, living green etc... it's as if I'm punishing myself by not doing them; because I'm not doing them. It makes no sense! I think I'm spending too much time analysing why I do things rather than actually doing them. Perhaps I should be more spontaneous...
Perhaps not that spontaneous... Olaf Brzeski - Dream (Spontaneous Combustion)

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