Finding my voice

I am endlessly aware that my posts are all truly dull and needlessly long, I'm just trying to find something interesting to say. I think at the moment I'm being prolific with my writing because I'm trying to find my voice. Seriously, if someone was to tell me I would be as yawn-inspiring as this I would have thought they were just being a dick! I honestly thought I had more to say for myself - I mean, I make myself laugh, right?

Am I trying to be someone I'm not? Ya know, saying things that I can't make flow because I'm not really that into them? Or is it just because I'm new at thins kinda thing? Really, I recon its a mix of the two (and who knows - I probably am quite dull really!) I'm writing just for writings sake, not because I have anything interesting to say. I know, right? As if I don't have anything interesting to say?! But seriously folks, about this voice thing...

Is it best that I just 'power through' with the crap shiz of should I leave it until I have more idea about what to say? I initially thought this would be a great place for me to put my ideas down and 'show my wares'. I still think thats what it will be, the problem being that I'm putting too much emphasis on getting something- anything, down and not giving myself time to really think about what I'm putting.

I guess that decides it then, I'm gonna chill out about getting something new down on the page and wait until I have something to show for myself or something to say. The idea to take photos I had a few days ago seemed like a good one at first, but I didn't give myself time for it to grow, I thought I should put something new on, keep the page fresh and all.

I'm gonna try to speak the way my head speaks as well I think. At least until I see that it is all mangled nonsense, it'll give me a flow at least anyhoo. So, so long for now. Back when I have a better idea of what to say.

Those were the best days of my life...

I saw this picture on the internet a few months ago it made me chuckle. I don't know about you but I have an inner dukebox of songs that play over and over, there's not a moment when I don't have a song in my head.

I often think of all the useful things from school I could have kept onto if I didn't have the lyrics to Brian Adams "Summer of '69", maybe Trig wouldn't have been so hard to grasp. It pains me to admit, but when I hear 'Got my first real six-string...' I know I'm going to be singing along, like it or not. And obviously I find Brian Adams intolerable, who doesn't for goodness sake?! I guess that goes to show how bland he is...

Dear me!

I suppose I can't in any way call today the day from hell, I just feel exhausted! There's a whole shake-up with work which we had a consultation meeting about today after shift for two hours. I guess I'm not feeling negative about it, I could become redundant at the end of it but to be honest I think the service needs the shake up and its for the greater good. But anyway, I shan't bore you all with work issues. I think because I work in a 24/7/365 industry when I do eventually have a weekend off it becomes even more precious. Today my mind wanted to clock off at 2.30 but here I am at half 6 having just got back. Anyhoo - that was just the background to todays photo, I've posted it on facebook as well to show my solidarity to my collegues.

BTW, that photo in the frame behind is my chameleon, Doc. I know - the frame is hideous but theres a story behind it. We got given it as a holiday present (maybe as a joke?) but now we have it. We were looking for a picture to match it's *ahem* charming qualities, so when we got Doc it just made sense - garish animal, garish frame.

does my bum look big in this?

This was right at the end of the day, I was doing the sleep over at work and I was wiped out (much as I am now - 24 hours at work is evil, especially for 2nd day in a row). I was covertly trying to take a photo without being heard, its more of a stealth photo on the run. My dress was from primark a couple of years ago, still going strong! Leggings from Tesco and my shoes (love my shoes - they have that clonky sound when you walk on hard floors but are still flats) they're from New Look. If only I could hold a camera straight...

and today... I can't do those 'model' poses that other people do (believe me, I tried - to no avail), I think I'm to self conscious so I've gone with the trying-to-hard-to-be-cool-looking-up shot, eek - less said the better methinks. BTW, that headband was made by my own fair hands. I'm totally in to headbands ATM, so easy to whip up in a short time and you can be wearing them the same day. Awesome-o! You can just see my chameleon's travel cage in the background - I'll get a pic of him for tomorrow.

Getting Started

Howdy,
So I've been thinking about how this 'quest for creativity' is going to start and I did what any sane person wanting knowledge would do- ask google. And what I came up with is that I have to mix it up a little bit; get out of the funk that I'm in, doing the same things, seeing the same people and going to the same places. I guess thats where this blog comes in - if I can document what I plan to do then I have written evidence and I can't get away with talking about it anymore.

And now I'm out of ideas, perhaps I should just look for opportunities where I would usually do one thing and try doing something else - boyf said that I am the least spontaneous person he knows, which could possibly be true, I'm a bit of a control freak about knowing what EXACTLY is going to happen and I completely stress out about not having a plan or feeling like I don't know something; I even hate being surprised by nice things like christmas presents! I know, I'm a freak...

I think everythings connected, how you feel in yourself, how healthy you are, what you do. If you change one thing then the rest will follow, theres gotta be something in that. So thats what I plan to do, I can document how I get on and see if its working. In the meantime I recon I need to set myself a challenge; I'm going to go somewhere and take a photograph each day, it could be of anything but it should be different. I'll check back in a few days to see how its gone - it may be a completely crap idea that goes nowhere but I can think of something else...
cya soon

honest to blog..?

I watched Banksy's Exit through the Gift Shop the other day;

The basic synopsis is a guy, Thierry Guetta, videos everything, goes on holiday to see his cousin who is a graffiti artist and follows him around. He then gets into the graffiti scene and filming other artists and decides this is what he's going to film about from now on. He finds Shepard Fairey and follows him around for a bit and later finds Banksy and follows him around for a bit, eventually he decides to make a documentary from his footage, but his finished documentary is rubbish, Banksy asks to take over the documentary and suggests Thierry goes off and tries a bit of graffiti and maybe puts on a little show (he has previously been inspired to try graffiti for himself). The rest of this documentary is Thierry going completely overboard with this task, selling all his things and buying a studio, hiring graphic designers, set builders, artists to create the ideas he comes up with. He hypes up this show to the LA art scene and they go crazy for it, its a huge success (footfall wise) but those who work for him and whom he followed before all lose respect for him as he doesn't seem to understand the art, its just about the money and the specticle; to them he seems a joke, clueless.

In my opinion its a fake. I can kinda see how it could almost be real, there may be some nutters who would behave like Thierry but I recon it was Banksy making a metaphor about what the graffiti/street art scene has become; all hype and no foundations. The footage of graffiti artists seems pretty thin on the ground, judging that it says he spent eight years following graffiti artists and it seems mostly to be Shepard Fairey and Banksy. The Andy Warhol style factory he sets up and Thierry's whole look and attitude is cliched to the extreme, think of a typical artist and this is what you will see. The whole body of work looks completely like a lazy set designers idea of what 'a lot of modern art' would look like, it has no theme other than, 'that piece is bright, lets copy that.' It just looks fake to me.

Having said that, I did like the documentary. It was kinda fun initially trying to find out if it was real or fake and it shows footage of loads of graffiti being created. Thierry is an interesting guy to watch - whether he's for real or not.

All in all, if I was gonna watch a 'mocumentary' I'd watch this ten times over before I'd watch 'I'm Still Here' again!

My *narrow* body of recent work